You are not someone who plays sports, but you are someone who is patient. Patient enough to start playing a sport where you hit a tiny ball toward a hole many hundreds of yards away, a hole roughly the same size as the ball, and eventually get it in. Someone patient enough to clear a course by completing this task 18 times consecutively. Someone able to get access to a clubhouse that lets you visit any of eight different courses.

You know that things like "spin" and "wind" exist. You also know nothing about reading or applying them. You have a half set of clubs and the basics of how to swing a club. You know a Par 3 is shorter than a Par 4, which is shorter than a Par 5. You know Woods are good for distance, Irons and Wedges are for getting out of bad spots, and the Putter is meant for the green and is a cruel mistress.

You know to stand directly on top of the ball before trying to use space/enter to interact with it. You know you can back out before finalizing your club selection, but once you reach the point of setting your swing's power you are as the kids say "locked the fuck in" and can't back down. You know that with each stroke, you're going to have to hunt the ball down.

In this game, you have virtually no hud or information. You also have no time limit and the only fail state is when you decide to quit. In the clubhouse, you can talk to the worker to pick what course to play, or go to the door to save, quit, or check your course records.

You can save or return to the clubhouse before finishing a course by hitting space/enter when facing the flag/hole. The goal is to get the ball to the same exact place the flag is. The tee always faces the fairway, and the fairway always leads to the green where the flag is.

The lesson is that even if you have patience, sometimes you need to learn what that word truly means. Also, if you want to change the controls your only chance to is at the title screen.

Damien Crawford's Golf Experience 2024 (3245790)

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